Mr Fluffy: Space Cat
by Major Plothole
Summary: Rescued from almost certain death by an Argon named Jonas, Mr. Fluffy has made his home among the motley crew of the Vegas, a Manta class luxury liner/turned shipping vessel. When the ship comes under attack by pirates, the fearless tabby becomes all that stands between his new-found family and a grisly demise.


Mr. Fluffy's life was ordinary enough - that is for a space born member of the feline race. He was one of a long line of Space Cat a not so well known sub-species of Felis Domesticus. He could trace back his lineage all the way to the very first cat that had traveled to what was now known as "Argon space."

A Space Cat was about one-and-a-half times the size of a normal house cat, or about the size of a small bobcat. Space Cats ran the gamut of normal cat colors and patterns. Mr. Fluffy was an orange tabby with bright orange eyes.

He had bounced around from home to home. The other space bred animals he met considered him to be a jinx as nearly all of the people who housed him had come to undesirable ends and yet he always managed to come out alive.

If Jonas had known this when he had found the derelict ship Tortuga, would he have kept the cat anyways? The cat mewled as if to say, "Knowing Jonas, yes he would."

Jonas Asporna, a normal sized human male. Unremarkable in most aspects, save for his shiny head where most other humans had some form of fur on top. It made Mr. Fluffy feel more at ease for his own shortcomings, like his gimpy left hind leg (which was thanks to a bumbling Teladi trader who had stepped on him when dealing with his 3rd owner), Or the fact that he only had half a tail (a grim reminder of the explosion that had cost his first owner her life).

His last owner, the fifth, had been a rather peculiar fellow. He didn't say much and he didn't do much other than his normal trader runs. On the day of his demise, however, the man had locked Mr. Fluffy (who at that time went by "Mortimer")in some kind of a box.

Mr. Fluffy had been quite scared and panicked during the commotion, lights were blaring, sirens yelling and a strong metallic warning voice blared over the speakers.

"Warning, critical systems failure. Oxygen leaks detected on all levels." Was what the voice had said. Panicking, the man had rushed over grabbed up Mr. Fluffy and ran down a hallway. Then the gravity had given out. This normally didn't even phase Mr. Fluffy as he was a space cat and certainly more accustomed to this sort of thing than some yokel planetside land lover cat.

But with everything else going on he, much to his own shame, kinda freaked out.

The kind Mr. Fifth, had taken a tumble and hit a bulkhead rather hard, with some kind of sickening crack that reminded Fluffy of the chicken the two had shared only nights before.

A smell, reminiscent to something he hadn't smelled in a long time, mixed with the sight of the human male leaking some kind of red substance from his mouth didn't help matters. Gingerly, Fifth picked up Fluffy and headed to the escape pod.

"You'll be safe here ol' boy." He coughed. "Wish I could join you, but I think…" He wheezed and coughed some more of the red stuff up, "I think it's the end of the line for me…"

Mr. Fluffy never could shake that smile the man known as Fifth had given him. An uncharacteristically handsome smile on a rather ugly man. A warm comforting smile, given to him only that one time, a smile that told him everything would be all right, that he would chase mice and play with catnip again. And that all the hardships would be over soon.

Fifth was right.

In two days time the sixth owner, the man known as Jonas, had come to rescue the drifting escape pod. Only to find the only occupant was a scared and half starved cat.

No tags, no discernable name and, because of slight radiation exposure most of his hair had fallen out. With a kind hearted smile, this owner had given him a new name, Mr. Fluffy.

On that day, Jonas showed who he truly was to Mr. Fluffy. Sure it wasn't the same exact smile, but it was close and it still conveyed that warmth. That brilliant and reassuring smile which put Fluffy at ease.

Jonas owned an older Boron Manta transport ship, a variation anyways, which he had "acquired," during another rescue mission where those he tried to rescue were deceased. It was named after a mythical location full of pretty lights, beautiful women, vast fortunes and where all your dreams could come true. Vegas. A fabled city on a lost planet that Mr. Fluffy had only ever heard rumors of.

The Vegas wasn't a flashy ship like the name implied, and it had seen some wear and tear but it meant a great deal to Jonas. And so, in turn, it meant the world to Mr. Fluffy. So he stayed on board the Vegas as caretaker, jester, mouser and lap warmer.

Fluffy and Jonas weren't the only ones onboard the vessel, there was a total of nine crew aboard the Vegas. Four two leggers, including Jonas and five members of the four legged variety.

There was Crichton, the host and Jonas's brother. Molak, the Split Intelligence Officer, though he was more of a thug protection, (they called him a "Marine" sometimes).

Then there was the beautiful Tessa, the ship's mechanic and Jonas's "eye candy." Mr. Fluffy used to be jealous of her and would hiss at her because she was an object of Jonas's affection. But, after figuring out the passcode to Crichton's personal computer and finding his stash of triple x rated vids, Mr. Fluffy decided that it might be best to keep Tessa around if only because he felt he would look ridiculous in a baby sitter outfit.

Not that Jonas was ever going to "close the gap" as it were and admit his feelings to the bubbly little grease monkey.

The other occupants of the ship were two other cats and two dogs.

The first was an actual house cat from Argon Prime who accompanied Crichton. She was, quite aptly, named "Princess." And, like her name suggested, she was very proper and clean and not someone with whom Mr. Fluffy chose to associate.

The other cat was Sebastian who apparently had come with the ship. Mr. Fluffy and the other crewmen barely ever saw him as he was always about deep with in the inner workings of the ship. No matter what though, he'd always show up to greet who ever came in through the airlock. Thus was the reason why Jonas had installed secondary and even tertiary airlocks and systems throughout the ship.

The last two were Labrador Retrievers. The first was pure yellow and spotless, named "Freckles." The second was Black and went by "Snowball." Jonas was kind of on a roll with the whole "ironic names" bit.

Freckles and Snowball, like most Labradors, weren't the brightest of dogs but faithful and always good for a laugh.

The ship was a luxury liner. Well in the same way a broken down, haunted mansion was still considered a mansion. The Vegas was the type of liner you'd go with when you wanted a cheap vacation, and there was nothing faster. So they didn't get many takers.

To get by they had to make do with shipping runs instead and that's where the mousers came into play. Vermin of all shapes and sizes from across the galaxy would hide in their cargo and then sneak off into the ducts and electrical systems once they were underway. Then start chewing on cables and wiring while working on their cozy little nests. All the redundancy in the world couldn't prevent catastrophic failure if a system was cut off at the source. So the mouse patrol was "paid" to do a job that the two leggers couldn't. Scavenge about through ducts and kill the vermin.

Princess wasn't a mouser. She was the most useless feline that Mr. Fluffy had ever had the not-pleasure of meeting. She was pretty though, purest white with grey freckles and green eyes. This did not help her case in his opinion. He would rather stay celibate than ever hate-fuck the beejezus out of that good for nothing trollop.

Sebastian was a mouser and often killed the varmints that escaped Mr. Fluffy's patrols, but he was not very reliable. So it was up to Mr. Fluffy to patrol the craft and keep the ship safe from these so called mice.

They were mice in the same way a hurricane was a "strong gust of wind." Argon mice were anywhere between the size of a field mouse and a "New York Rat." And many of their stops were on stations that weren't Argon.

There was always the potential of a Split "Fluffy devil" or a Paranid "Slithering Scourge." These things were quite the hazard and preferred to live in and around the warmness of the oxygen filters causing problems for everyone.

On top of his mousing duties, he also had the duty of co-pilot. Mr. Fluffy took this station quite seriously and would sit in the co-pilot's chair gazing at out at the stars via the view screens. The passengers and most of the crew thought that Jonas was just teasing when he stated that Mr. Fluffy had helped him. Mr. Fluffy had indeed saved the ship on several occasions, mewing and yowling at a blip on the radar or when that particularly odd sixth sense he had flared up.

For whatever reason, those senses had failed him this time. Jonas would have reassured him that even the best machine has its hiccups. Mr. Fluffy knew this, but he wouldn't forgive himself. He couldn't. He'd failed them all and now the pirates were here.

* * *

The day had started as any other day. Fresh cat food in the bowl, a nice cool cup of water beside it. Jonas had set Fluffy up at the table alongside him like he always did and as the two ate their breakfast. Jonas had downloaded the latest news (dated 3 days back) to the smart paper and laid it on the table so the two could enjoy the moving comics together.

Mr. Fluffy's favorite was a comic strip involving something called a Kangaroo and another creature called an elephant. Where apparently the two were roommates and owned a bed and breakfast together. The colors were pretty and made (in Tessa's words) his motor hum.

The recent weeks had been quiet, almost too quiet for Crichton, and when there was an intercepted distress signal coming from a side of the sector they were in they answered it immediately.

Only one heat signature. Faint murmurs of residual heat around the immediate area but the ship was badly damaged, a semi-destroyed Toucan, already scarred and blown apart. A couple of bodies here and there littering the void around it. "Herod's Demise" it was called. The distress signal stated only four survivors, three of which were badly hurt.

Jonas didn't hesitate. It'd been so long since their last emergency pick up, maybe they were just rusty, maybe they just forgot to scan or maybe the scans were masked by the awaiting people on board the Herod's Demise.

Mr. Fluffy should've known. That name, it was familiar and it wasn't nagging him. It _should_ have nagged him, he should have mewed. But he didn't. He didn't and Jonas picked them up.

Jonas, Molak and Sebastian were there to greet their guests.

Molak saw something wrong almost immediately. A quick draw was what he was, but his shots were uncontrolled and even though the first pirate through the door caught a blast in the face, and the second took one in the chest just above his heart the other two drilled him down quick.

From his spot, terrified in the doorway, Mr. Fluffy could only sit in fearful awe. Sebastian, that beautiful savant of a cat didn't realize the men were bad and tried to reach up like he did with guests. Tried to play.

An explosion rocked the side of the ship and the power flickered and failed.

He felt himself go weightless. He would have panicked but his eyes were transfixed at the now limp Sebastian floating towards the closed airlock door. Red jam like stuff floating from the wound he suffered in his abdomen. He was still purring.

Jonas himself pulled the limp Molak behind a bulkhead, plasma rifle fire slamming against the bulkhead.

"Mister!" He shouted to the semi-weightless cat "Get back! Go, go warn Tess!"

Mr. Fluffy yipped in compliance, he was not like that princess cat, the little painted whore, who was probably hiding somewhere leaving her people to die around her while she cowered. He would help. He would do something, "just not sure what exactly" he thought. He bounded down the corridors. His paws gently clanking against the floor as he lifted off, now rocketing down the hallway faster than he ever had.

He yowled and yipped through the corridors, his cry meeting the slow bleat of the siren above him. Another rocking shot and the siren failed for a minute. His cry of warning the only thing to warn them.

Finally making it to the engine room he looped around Tessa's legs, then up and down the engine meowing in panic, his heart thumping in his chest.

Now maybe he was unlike any other cat known to man, or maybe he just was more aware of his gift than other cats but he knew that he could converse with them, the two legged ones anyway.

Whenever you suddenly get the realization that its almost time to feed your pets, even though your mind was nowhere near them at the moment then you look and realize they'd been staring at you this entire time. Most animals didn't realize that they had this ability, but Fluffy knew and he used it for more than just food or affection.

"How are you?" they'd ask him. He'd yip and purr his response so they didn't get spooked that he could use telepathy to respond. "Fine, thank you. Scratch my chin?" they would think he was just "being a cat" and could communicate through body language.

But this time he let it be known. "We are in great danger," he stated as she picked up the scared and frightened animal

"The men will take care of it Mister…" Tessa was scared but confident in her companions.

"Not this time. Molak is dead. You need to act."

"Wait…Molak…" She processed it. Two-leggers were slow. "How? How am I…" her voice trailed off.

"The comm station. Get there. Sound a broadcast and raise shields. We are being attacked from outside as well."

"Right…" her thoughts were scrambled as she clutched the fluffy creature in her arms. "I…I will raise the shields and send out a distress call. I…you should…"

"Relax." He said and purred soothingly even though his own stress levels were quite high. "Everything will be all right Tessa, I will go make sure the boys have everything under control."

And with that he bounded back down the hallway, having to switch from 1 leap per meter to 1 leap per two, then to every three as the gravity systems slowly died.

The fire fight between Jonas, Crichton and the pirates wasn't doing very well for the home team. Jonas and Crichton's pistols were out ranged, while the two were pinned down in the passenger compartment with a 20 meter hallway between them and the pirates whose carbines easily spanned the distance.

Their ammo running low, the two defenders began shooting less and less frequently, trying to conserve what little they had left. The pirates took this as a good sign.

They advanced. One Split, one Paranid and one Argon. An odd assortment even for pirates. The paranid, a right tough bastard of course, was the wounded one and he was cursing about how he was going to "eat that human's heart" and send his soul "to the depths of hell" where it belonged, when a grenade rolled down the corridor, landing between the two men. Crichton went left while Jonas to the right.

Jonas now on the hallway to the kitchen area while Crichton near the crew quarters. The grenade, a flash burn grenade as normal concussion grenades could potentially destabilize bulkheads, exploded in an incinerating fire that scorched the walls and floor of the hallway, burning Molak's lifeless body to a crisp. With nothing to burn the fire evaporated in an instant leaving a smoking corridor, clear for the invaders to advance forward.

Molak's favorite pistol "Bertal" was now clutched desperately in Jonas's hand as the pirates came around the corner. Mr. Fluffy scrambled out of the way, catching a soft kick from Jonas that sent him drifting across the room towards relative safety. Floating halfway between floor and ceiling, the space cat witnessed the next events in horrid fascination.

The door to the kitchen was closed as the Paranid man then bolted it shut with some kind of remote device, locking Jonas in. Crichton lurked in the shadow of the dining room across the hall from where Jonas was pounding on the kitchen door shouting obscenities. The pirates were alone in the hall ready to advance towards the control room and take the ship.

Crichton, overcoming the fear that no doubt gripped him, stepped from his hiding place, wielding his pistol bravely and shooting the Argon pirate in the back, a bolt of powerful energy splitting through him and slamming into the bulkhead.

The other two whirled around to meet the new threat, but it was too late for them. Crichton had the drop, he was close enough to kill them both with considerable ease.

And that's when the sickening click of an empty gun rang through the corridor. The Split pirate was the first to recover and, with a grunting laugh, he turned his pistol on Crichton who now was struggling against the weightlessness to get out of the way of the shot and back through the doorway.

The shot went off and the familiar yelp of one of the crew followed by the flash of a black Labrador named Snowball as he hurled himself at his friend's attacker. Snowball's body collided with the Split man, his blood blinding the bastard's vision in one last act of defiance.

"Get back human!" Yelled Freckle as he plunged from behind Snowball "We've got this!"

Blinded and disconcert, his body now between the vicious dog and his allied Paranid friend, the Split pirate grumbled some slow curse just before his voice was cut short by the crunching sound of his throat in the grasp of the big yellow dog's mouth. His cries of pain and anguish¾turning to gurgles as he drowned in his own blood¾were unmatched and unmet as it seemed his Paranid companion was leaving him to die, closing the hatch behind him as he maneuvered into the room with Jonas.

Through the porthole, Mr. Fluffy watched as the Paranid took a round from Jonas's gun, this shot barely winging him though forcing him to drop his weapon. He pulled a knife and dove at Jonas, stabbing him in the shoulder.

Jonas bolted deeper into the kitchen and out of the sight of the porthole, same with the pirate who followed his prey a wicked evil grin on his face.

Panicking, Mr. Fluffy knew he had to get there, he had to save him. To protect Jonas… Nothing else mattered.

Gravity was slowly returning but, before it fully did, Fluffy took one more gamble and made a dart to the nearby duct above the kitchen door frame. He clawed and he pried and he chewed at the grate trying to get it to unhinge. "Open! OPEN DAMN YOU! OPEN! I HAVE TO SAVE JONAS!" He yowled in anguish as he clawed in futility. Then a hand slowly brushed him aside and another found the latch for the grate and opened it for him.

"I don't know what you're planning on doing Mr. Fluffy," Crichton's voice cracked. Mr. Fluffy turned, his orange eyes meeting the human's that were both tearful and beautiful. "It's a long shot. But you have to go. Save him. Please…"

"Brrrmeow!" Was his reply and off he whirled down the tight dark mess that was the wiring junction for the kitchen lighting and air circulatory systems.

The area wasn't safe for cats, as it was marked with ridged, jagged metal that scraped and opened wounds. Open circuits that burned flesh and singed fur. All of which were ignored by the intrepid hero. He scurried as about as fast as he dared, resembling more of a ferret than a cat at this point as he ducked and dodged through the mysterious labyrinth - finally coming out in the comms room.

He was too late.

Jonas, lie in a puddle of his own red gooey stuff on the floor. The Paranid man was holding Tessa, a dagger of some sorts ready to stab her at the moments notice. Jonas's love, the woman that he one day wanted to raise kittens with. His future mate. The one thing of Jonas there was to protect…Jonas…Snowball…Molak…Sebastian…

Mr. Fluffy had had enough. He wasn't taking her too damnit!

Looking back at that moment, its hard to say what came over him. If it was some dormant lion-esque behavior. Or if watching too many ancient roman and samurai warrior flicks with Jonas had had too much of an everlasting effect on his psyche.

Leaping forward from the ceiling vent the cat landed firmly on the back of the Paranid's neck. Sinking teeth and claws and everything he could muster into it.

"It's just a rat! Just a very big rat Mr. Fluffy! You can do this!" He yelled to himself as he poured all his energy into this, his most perfect kill.

Claws slashed and fangs went for the sweet spot, he positioned himself so that he clambered over the top of the Paranid's head the man having to drop his weapon and try to grasp at the cat on his face now. Tessa scurried away.

But it was too late for the Paranid. Mr. Fluffy's fangs sank into the man's jugular. He clenched and dragged so hard, the Paranid had no other option than to grab with all his might and fling the cat away from him. Leaping free Mr. Fluffy's back claws dug in hard, slashing across the Paranid's face and ripping his center eye from his skull, just to add insult to injury.

Yowling in pain, spurting blood and clasping blindly for his weapon he fell to a knees. Like a shark playing with a maimed dolphin, Mr. Fluffy circled him.

"This is for Molak!"

He darted behind him and swiped at the man's exposed tendon's on his ankle, a yowl of pain.

"For Sebastian!"

He climbed up the man's back and dug his right paw deep into the wound on the man's neck. The Paranid screamed and clutched the big cat, chucking him across the room against the bulkhead.

Mr. Fluffy wouldn't be stopped.

"FOR SNOWBALL!"

Was the battle cry as he darted behind man, turned then made a straight for the spot the humans always kicked each other on "Argon's funniest videos." But the only laughter that he was met with was the laughter in his own head as the whimpering Paranid was now prone on the floor reaching desperately for the escape hatch for the door out into the kitchen, as if there was an escape from his fate.

He growled. Mr. Fluffy never growled. But now he did, he growled curses upon this being and all his relatives, he prayed to the heavens that they would allow this man's soul no quarter wherever he was going.

"This…this is for Jonas!" the cat's final cut was precise and clean just like it was with the mice and the snakes and the giant arachnids he had slew in years past.

With the Paranid dead, the wounds of the battle now came crushing down on the feline. Right paw strained, missing a couple claws and bleeding, he was missing two fangs and a couple other teeth. A bit of laser fire had seared the tip of his right ear off and his left back leg was broken again. Limping he huddled next to the still form of Jonas.

"I'm sorry." He mewed pitifully. The sound of Tessa in the background muddled with the clanking sounds of another ship. Undoubtedly the pirate ship that had been pelting them all this time finally latching onto them.

"I'm sorry I wasn't better…" He moved to face the warm face of Jonas. "I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough…" he was actually crying now. Moisture dripping from his eyes and softly landing on the cheek of his human. "I'm sorry I didn't realize until now…How much you really meant to me. How I would give anything to see you live again." He pushed his head against the dead man's cheek. "To see you make kittens with Tessa." He purred at the bitter sweet thought. "You've never done anything but be nice. To everyone. Everyone you came across you were nothing but nice." Anger flowed through him.. "And all the worlds ever did to you was spit on you, curse you with me. The worst luck you could ever find…" He mewed softly and purred against his friend's ear. "You didn't deserve that. You deserve… so much more…" He sat down now.

The clanking became more impudent. There was a rush of air and suddenly he knew they were no longer alone again. They had come for them, to finish the job.

"I don't care," Said Mr. Fluffy as he stared at Jonas's face. "I don't care. I refuse to move from this spot. I refuse to leave you. Even if it means the death of me." He purred at the thought and pushed his head once more under the nose of his best friend. And then… Beauty.

A sneeze.

* * *

It had been five days sense the pirate raid, and Jonas had finally awaken to the mewlings of the battered cat known as Mr. Fluffy. Tessa had brought him to the hospital when she came to visit.

"He was very insistent." she would state with a smile. The toll on them was rather thick.

Tessa filled him in, slowly trying to ease him into it. The ship was flyable. That was a plus. Molak was killed in action. But it seemed that upon hearing of his heroic last stand his family had paid for all the medical expenses. And would continue to do so, as long as they renamed the vessel after their son.

Mr. Fluffy had to go to the vet for several surgeries - a resetting of his leg and (for now at least) was "forced" to be carried everywhere because of his wounded legs. Crichton was okay and visited Jonas later. But was also weak after donating a kidney to Jonas so that Jonas would live.

Sebastian "the crazy bastard cat" as she called him, was alive and well. And, after his surgery, still greeted everyone properly with a purry hello.

Snowball was taken to the emergency room and Crichton about killed the doctor when he said the "pup hadn't a snowball's chance-" he did the surgery pro-bono after he heard that that was the dogs name. Snowball was going to have a hard time getting around but he'd be ok.

Freckle had to be tranquilized so they could remove the dead Split from his jaws.

And the Paranid? It was almost an interstellar incident. But when they found out a cat had killed him…the Paranid dropped it and it hasn't been spoken of in Paranid media since.

Mr. Fluffy cooed and purred softly as his rough and mangled fur was stroked by his humans as he sat on the male's lap and the female told him about the others, how they were all doing. About how she missed him, and blah blah blah.

Fluffy couldn't be bothered with such trivialities. He would just purr contentedly like he was paying attention and then watch more cartoons of the Elephant and the Kangaroo.

He'd done it. He'd saved the day. He would continue watching over Jonas and, now apparently, Tessa to. And Crichton, and the dogs, and even that crazy old coot Sebastian. He would be their constant guardian, a batman among cats, a vigilant protector and overall good guy. He would indeed.

But first…a nap.


End file.
